BEFORE THE BEGINNING & AFTER THE END
by KUPEK 

(c) 2006

 1. before the beginning (for sonja)
 2. headless horseman (microphones cover)
 3. hateful hazel
 4. in progress
 5. story of my life
 6. neither here nor there
 7. i'm done
 8. it's all in your head (c'mon c'mon)
 9. big deal
10. how long is your hair?
11. born beautiful
12. lovely


1. BEFORE THE BEGINNING (FOR SONJA)
you are so small
you are so small that i could squish you like a bug 
you are so small, you are not like her at all 
you are so slight, 
you are so slight that i could break you and i just might 
you are so slight, she could break you too, alright
i spent my whole life searching for a girl like you
i got a chip on my shoulder
i got something to prove

you are so fine
you are so fine that i could lay you out in a line 
you are so fine, you are so fine, i've been so blind 
you are so good
you are so good and i am not, it's understood 
you are so good i'd just pervert you 
and maybe i should
i spent my whole life searching for a girl like you
i got a chip on my shoulder
i got something to prove
and i'll prove it to you
you are so good but you are just not good enough
you are so fine but you just fail to blow my mind
you are so pure but you're not her


2. HEADLESS HORSEMAN (MICROPHONES COVER)
By P.W. Elverum
http://www.pwelverumandsun.com/


3. HATEFUL HAZEL
are you resentful of the sunrise?
are you hateful towards each bright new shiny day?
do you roll over and cover your eyes?
why is everything beautiful far away?
your eyes, your eyes, your hey hey hazel eyes
your eyes, your eyes are so fine

do you prefer me in the moonlight?
after midnight when everything's just a blur
if you want I'll turn the lights down low
I bet I'm better when the night plays tricks on your
eyes, your eyes, your hey hey hazel eyes
your eyes, your eyes are like mine

no way! no way! no way! no way will
I sit here and watch you disappear
and wait for the smoke to clear
because it's happened before
but it won't happen again
cos i know how these things end
but not how they begin
and your eyes, and your eyes,
and your eyes, and your eyes,
and your eyes, and your eyes,
and your eyes, well,
they're worth a fight

we're all resentful of the sunrise
we are hateful towards each bright new shiny day
we roll over and cover our eyes
cos everything beautiful is so! far away
your eyes, your eyes, your hey hey hazel eyes
your eyes, your eyes are so fine
your eyes, your eyes, your hey hey hazel eyes
your eyes, your eyes are so fine


4. IN PROGRESS
you make me feel fine
from time to time, from time to time
you make me feel good
as if i should, as if i should
you make me feel alright
as if i had the right, had the right
you make me feel alive
as if i'm not

sometimes i wonder
about pretty much everything
sometimes the world seems like
a decent place to be
sometimes i wonder if what you say
is what you mean
but i don't mean
to scratch the surface of our dream
cos i believe
i still believe

in you and me


5. STORY OF MY LIFE
in the story of your life
am i more than just a footnote?
was it easy to erase me
or am i difficult to rub out?
i wonder what you're doing
if you care to know i'm still right here
i've been thinking about the way i am
and i've been thinking about you
sonja
as if that was your name
as if you ever existed
as if you could ever feel the same
but the way you felt that night
the night we talked all night
i set myself up, sonja
but that's the story of my life

and in the story of my life
you're the moral and the meaning
and i've been reading up on you
mouth hanging open, disbelieving
i wonder how you're doing
and the length of your hair
and i wish i didn't care
but i've been thinking about the way we were
and i've been thinking about you
sonja
as if that was your name
as if you ever gave a shit
as if it was ever more than a game for you
but the way you felt those days
those goddamn halcyon days
i guess i dreamed them, sonja
but they're where i want to stay
they're where i want to stay
they're where i want to stay


6. NEITHER HERE NOR THERE


7. I'M DONE
you drain my confidence
just so you can fill it back up
and i sat here on the fence
just til you came and pushed me off
i'm so lonely, but aren't we all?
you're the only girl i want to call
and i'll wake you up in the middle of the night
just to tell you everything's gonna be alright
and you'll just mumble in the phone, in the phone
cos you're alone in your bed and the things that i said
are probably just an echo in your head
but i'll still whisper in your ear, in your ear

you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand
you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand

and i'll wake you up in the middle of the day
just to tell you everything's gonna be okay
but it's not, it's not okay
and you can lay me down in the middle of the floor
just to tell me you're not gonna tell me anything anymore
and i'll just stay here on the floor

and they'll try to keep me here
until you move on to something new
so i'll skip the next few years
until i catch up with you
but those years add up; they don't just disappear
why don't you wake me up when the coast is clear?
when the end is near??

you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand
you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand
you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand
you're all i can stand, you're all i can stand


8. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD (C'MON C'MON)
i got a girl in my head today
someone i was vaguely attracted to in high school
and never acted on
i wonder where she is today
i wonder if she's hopeless, wondering what she missed
or did she learn to shine?
how long must the show go on
come on, get me off, c'mon c'mon
how am i not dead and gone?
come on, what went wrong? c'mon c'mon

i only fell hard a couple times
no i was not a heartbreaker; not even much of a heartbreakee
til there was you and me
so as i sit on my ass in the grass
i'll try not to linger on all my misadventures
i'll concentrate on missing you
how could they split us up?
come on, where's the love? c'mon c'mon
how cold is my empty seat
i admit defeat, c'mon c'mon
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, come on
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon...

i got a girl in my head today
someone that i never think about anymore
because what's the point?
but i got nothin' but time tonight
and it's hard not to linger, and sometimes i wonder:
how long can you keep your head on?
come on, stand up strong! c'mon, c'mon!
how am i still here at all??
come on, stand up tall! c'mon, c'mon!
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, come on
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon
c'mon c'mon, c'mon c'mon...


9. BIG DEAL
in & out of trouble with the law
up & down cigarettes vs alcohol
four years or more since the last time we really talked
when once upon a time we were a lock
we could have dated but we never got around to it
i always liked you even though you were a fuckup
we could have dated but the fates had their own ideas
what a great idea

back & forth tracing grooves in the hardwood floor
sick & tired of fucking waiting, can't take it no more
some chick on the train licks her lips and i miss you
i'm trippin' out about the shit i'm in and suddenly i miss you
i wish i still knew you
but what would i do with you?
we could have dated but we never got around to it
i always liked you even though you were a fuckup
we could have dated but the fates had their own ideas
you had no idea
you had no idea
you had no idea


10. HOW LONG IS YOUR HAIR?
she went to italy, i guess; i hadn't recovered yet
march, april, may, june, july
well it seemed like a long time at the time
so you went to santa fe, and i spent the nights
pretending to try to forget
& waiting for one of you to come back & want me
a blissfully tormented wreck
and then she came back & started to act
like nothing had happened - but all of it happened
yeah i had it all wrote down & sung & recorded
& scathingly reported in my faltering voice
& overproduction & all
my beautiful fall - my beautiful fall

september's unusually warm & there's a new girl on my arm
remember the sun in your hair? well, it was there
so you crossed the border & i'm on the rebound
& she's still around but it's after the end
& i kinda caved in & you kinda went for it
& if she liked me so much as a friend
then where did she go when she first heard
my first song about you?
where did she get to?
how is she doing? how does she look?
how long is her hair? & did she ever care?
& why do i doubt that she cared??

what was her strategy? i never figured her out
and does she ever think of me? well that i doubt
some fights can't be won
i used to hold you like a gun
and blame my aim on the sun, or lack thereof

how long is your hair? are you somebody new?
if i saw you in the starlight, would i know it was you?
does anyone know anything, anytime, or are we all just pretending?
pick me up - don't leave me here
together we can make magic, or at least make it disappear
what was your strategy? i'll never never ever ever know
and do you ever wonder where all that old garbage goes?
some fights can't be won
i used to hold you like a gun
and blame my aim on the sun - and blame my aim on the sun
and blame my aim on the sun, or lack thereof!


11. BORN BEAUTIFUL
it's a small house
she turned it inside out
just by being born beautiful
it's not a big place
but take a look at that face
this doesn't happen every day
wait up, watch out
she's waiting, she's watching
she's got that look on that face of hers
the look you never seem to get on yours
you're not a bad guy
you're just kind of mediocre
but you're gonna show her

it was your big day
she blew it all away
just by being born beautiful
it's not a small town
but it's been holding you down
and nothing's gonna make you stick around
but wake up, c'mon wake up
you're already gone
cos that was 8 or 9 years ago
and nowadays you're just a guy she used to know
and it doesn't matter
if you always loved her
cos it's over - it's over.

stop the rain - start the parade
this doesn't happen every day

(i spent my whole life searching for a girl like you)

it's a small world
she wrecked all the other girls
just by being born


12. LOVELY
oh this is lovely
thank you for writing me but
how do i reply?
what could i possibly say
to a girl who hardly rates a memory?
i guess i blocked you out
but it was nothing personal
you just knew me before i was me
and i guess you gotta choose your sides
you gotta choose your sides
you gotta live your life
you gotta live your life

i guess you're married
i guess that so am i but
what does it matter?
what could it possibly mean
when my window of opportunity
2 months six years ago
opened up and then it closed
i wanted you before you were you
and i guess you gotta pick your fights
you gotta pick your fights
you gotta live your life
you gotta live your life

you never call me
as if you knew my number now
and if you called me
i guess i'd just freak out
cos i can't remember what you mean to me
all i've got's recycled feelings
that should have been thrown out
well i'd throw them out
but i'm still waiting for your call
but you can take your time
you can take your time
cos i gotta live my life
i gotta live my life